Mile-high Kinda Guy

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Hello my lovely readers, as most of you know I am in Amsterdam, Netherlands right now and I wasn't going to write a post until I returned, but this was too good to wait. 

I don't care who you are, if you are human, you love to people watch at the airport. I, however, take this a step further and intensely scope out the people I will be flying with and I may {if they are lucky enough} give them a back story. On this particular occasion there was a European gent eyeing my sister, Brieana, as she walked past him to the bathroom. He was a dapper looking dude and I knew I needed to keep my eye on him. Little did I know someone else was keeping their eye on me.

When we boarded the plane, the looky loo was accompanied by another {less appealing} European chap, but we were both in seating Group 1, which meant only one thing, they were somewhere in first class with us {and all my friends rolling their eyes right now about first class, don't even}. As we found our seats, guess who was sitting diagonally behind me? Yep, you guessed it, the European duo. I decided that sitting in front of them was both a good thing and a bad thing; good because we didn't have to look at them and bad because they could look at us all they wanted. However, my headphone cord sabotaged me and kept unplugging every time I moved, forcing me to turn around every 10 minutes and plug it back in {the jack was located behind my head}, requiring me make constant eye contact with the less appealing one {and eye contact every 10 mins on a 9 hour flight is a LOT of looksies} and I think that this headphone debacle is what triggered this very unfortunate misunderstanding.

On an unrelated side note: before the plane took off, a flight attendant knelt beside me and whispered in my ear if you are looking for some 'particular items' in Amsterdam I can point you in the right direction {I must have mischief written all over my face, because why else am I always targeted?}. I told her I wasn't interested, but implied that my mother would be and winked {I felt like playing a joke on my momma, it had been too long}. 

Back to the story, so, Brieana had her eyes feasted on the newborn next to us when the incident happened. It was all so sudden. Brieana was looking left, I was turning around to plug in my headphones in for the 38th time {if you're mathematically talented and paying attention to the story facts you should be able to decipher how far we are in the flight by now} and unappealing boy was standing up to go to the bathroom and as he passed dropped a napkin in my lap. I could tell by the carefully creased lines, he folded with purpose. I looked around to see if my eyes had deceived me and because Brieana wasn't looking, how was I going to get her to believe what just happened wasn't some elaborate plan I fabricated to make myself feel flattered {it's a sister thing, on trips we tally how many hit-on's we get, but we both have to see the encounter take place for it to count}. I decided the only way to get her on my side was to open the note together. So we carefully unfolded the napkin and read what we both did NOT expect.

I was mind blown! Not only was a crazy man on the airplane waiting for me in the bathroom to do the dirty, not to mention the fact that I was going to have to explain to Tyler how this situation came about without me even flirting. That wasn't even the craziest part, I was mind blow because I had just won the vacation hit-on challenge. How was Brie going to top this?

I then made the mistake of showing my mom right away and she loudly proclaimed her opinion of the note for the whole first class cabin and his partner in crime, who she didn't know was watching our reaction, to hear. Needless to say, when this guy emerged from the bathroom he had a lot of eyes on him. 

I was going to pass the note back, but I had to keep the evidence, so I quickly scribbled on a napkin the reason I did not meet him in the bathroom. I replied with the words Married {obviously if I wasn't married I still wouldn't have met that potential STD infested being in the bathroom, but believe it or not I felt bad for him that he was shut down with nowhere to flee to after the fact}. So I used all my 5th grade note passing knowledge and threw it to him after his walk of shame back to his seat.

With our mouths still agape in awe at the events of this flight, Brieana leaned over and said, What is it about you that screams you are down do shady things? 

And you know what? I'll never tell. 

Ladies and gentleman, welcome to Amsterdam. 


  1. That is hilarious! That poor guy having nowhere to go... Ha-ha!

  2. It made it so awkward. No eye contact after that catastrophe.


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